Everyday I begin my day by walking out of my bedroom into my living area and picking up whatever was left from the evening before. Typically this begins with placing a couple of oversized pillows back on the couch, because my husband has left them in the floor, as it is easier to sit on the couch without them (which I guess is a problem in itself). Practically everyday I grumble about doing so, even though it is a choice I make. After all, I could leave them in the floor and hope that Armando will see this problem and make it a priority immediately to pick them up. **I’m laughing out loud right now!**
Recently I have witnessed random acts of kindness, as well as have experienced things that have shined a light on this minor dilemma and really helped me to focus on what really matters, which in this case, happens to be the fact that Armando removes those pillows off the couch to lay on the couch with our little boy, putting him to sleep, every night.
It’s funny, because, as people, we tend to have these “pet peeves” or we tend to judge others based on our own comfort, discomfort, emotions, feelings, circumstances, etc. and we tend to overlook the other person and/or the good out of the situation. Hence, why I grumble at Armando each morning, although he is a terrific husband and father.
A couple weeks ago, however, I attended a funeral service of a great friend, Sam, who died unexpectedly on his way home in a car accident. He was 27 years old. He had served two tours in Iraq, for a total of 9 years in the Army. He made it out of war safely, and came home to die in a car accident. About six weeks prior to his death, I was in Round Mountain visiting my family when Sam wanted to come and visit, simply to catch up. It had been quite a while since I had actually seen Sam, and we had last spoken on shaky terms, so I felt uneasy and maybe even a little inconvenienced by his request. My sister didn’t care how I felt and invited him to come anyway. Sam and I had a fabulous talk that day. We discussed where we had been, where we are now, how things happen, why things happen, etc. We pretty much discussed life. Six weeks later I’m at Sam’s funeral, feeling so many emotions. How could he die this way? Why did it have to be him? I felt an overwhelming sadness and pain for his mom, as I can not even begin to imagine life without my own children. Part of me even felt angry at myself for feeling so down, as it almost felt selfish knowing the pain that his immediate family was going through.
At his service though I had this unbelievable realization of what matters and what is important. Sam loved people. He cared about everyone. He truly was mean to no one. He was happy to help and give anything he could. He was a man of God. People were so sad to see him go, but so happy for his impact on their lives. That is what matters. Relationships. When we leave, we get to take absolutely nothing with us; however, the people left behind get to keep the memories that you have had with them. People can be forever impacted by your generosity; your compassion; your spirit; and your life.
It’s sad that things like this have to happen for us to be forced back into reality and to understand what really matters in this crazy journey of life. However, it doesn’t have to be an incident of this magnitude. On Friday, I was at the gym and an elderly couple came in holding hands. The gentleman helped his wife sit down on one of the pieces of equipment, and then proceeded to workout. It was obvious by her stature and walking abilities that she was not in any condition to workout herself, but she came with him anyway and watched as he nourished his body with exercise. When he was done, he helped her up, and they left the gym together. So special. Last week, I was given a “teacher of the month” award. While this seems insignificant to some, it is voted on by students, and simply helped ground me on why I get up everyday. Even if one student is touched, I’ve made a difference.
On Saturday, my husband took both kids to the grocery store, while I went to the gym, and when he returned he had brought sunflowers, mums and pumpkins – just because. Just allowing me to go to the gym, realizing the importance of that to me, and battling two kids while taking on grocery shopping was enough, but for him, it didn’t stop there – he was truly thinking of me.
It is those little things that we have to be thankful for. It’s thinking of others and letting them know. Oftentimes I think of how talented someone is, or beautiful, or nice, etc. and I don’t stop to let them know that I have thought this way about them. And deeper than that, I can tend to get caught up in what’s going wrong and fail to see what is right. I have a beautiful family, a place to lay my head at night, a terrific job, I eat daily, and I have people that love me. What more could I possibly want and/or need?
Looking through a child’s eyes is really the way to live. I look at my daughter and son and see pure excitement when they find out they get to visit with their cousins and/or Grammie and Papa. A couple of cars and a dolly will suffice for hours when they need to play. A hug and/or kiss can make anything better. They always let you know when they are upset and usually tell you exactly why. They are happy to wake up each morning and are always ready to face the next challenge. They don’t even think of the possibility of you ever being gone (or death). They live for the moment and tend to tell it like it is. And, they would simply jump on the pillows, or make a fort, rather than seeing that they are “out of place.”
Many times I forget what is important, because I am seeing what is inconvenient and/or a bother to me. I simply hope to grow daily in realizing what is important and in focusing on my relationships with others, as that is all I really have and/or need.
