Welcome to Blogging!

The decision to create a blog was not an instant one. Actually, I would wake up at random points in the night and/or early morning and think about things I would write about if I had a blog. Weird, I know. I actually love the idea of blogging. It is so much more than just writing, or telling one's story. It is creating a history. If something happened to me tomorrow, my kids/husband/friends would have something to look at and remember. This is why I named this blog, "Our Story." Hopefully it will sort of represent the story of our lives.


So, anyway, this morning I woke up thinking about yesterday and the stress I created. And, then I couldn't go back to sleep. I started thinking about what I would blog. If I had one. So, finally I made this one. And here's my first story: I joined TOPS, a weight loss group, about six weeks ago. Going into the program I only needed to lose about 19 pounds. I knew going in that I would not really be able to compete, as most everyone else needed to lose considerably more weight than me. I just wanted the accountability, support, etc. I knew at some point I would gain weight, that I probably would never be the "biggest loser," and then it would just pretty much be hard.

Well, in the beginning, I surprised myself with results. The first week I dropped eight pounds! Then, I slowly took a few off here and there, totaling 16 pounds thus far. And then, yesterday came. I gained 1/2 pound. I had to stand up in front of a group of people and say, "I'm up." I literally almost cried.

I knew this day would come. Science said. Logic said. But then when it came, it was earth shattering. I felt like the biggest loser, not literally, unfortunately. But, why? Why does this number on a scale even matter? Shouldn't it matter that I'm healthy? That I can interact with my kids, run around, play on playground equipment, and just have fun? What do the other women in this group feel like? Why are we all so plagued?

Funny thing is that I don't judge others. Honestly, I see so many people as absolutely beautiful and I see them with so many qualities to offer and simply embrace life. The number on their scale does not effect me at all. And, unfortunately, statistics say that their number probably eats them alive, as does mine. Logic tells me we are so much more. I know what healthy is. I know what happy is. And, yet, 1/2 pound up on a scale made me feel for a moment as if I were such a failure. And, honestly I'll probably reach my goal and still not be content with the number, simply because it's not a number issue.

I guess my point is this. It's about being healthy. Feeling good. It's not a number on a scale. And, the more I say it, maybe the more it will help. I feel sad for the stress that we put on ourselves, that most people do not even see. I know my husband loves me just the way I am. And, my kids. And, my friends. And yet, I'm my own punching bag.

Ultimately, I guess I need to remember, "Honor God with your body." I Corinthians 6:19-20

This is the one body we get. Love it. Take care of it. Nurture it and hope it helps you tell, your story.

Welcome to my blog. Welcome to the middle (or so) of the story of my (our) life.